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From the
moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me,
and challenged me in a way that no human being ever has. I’ve fallen
in love with you again and again, countless times, without reservation, and I
still can’t believe that today I get to marry my best friend.
I promise to
be true to you, to uplift and support you, to frustrate and challenge you, and
to share with you all the beautiful moments of life. Someday, if the stars
align, I might even let you win an argument.
No matter
what trials we encounter together or how much time has passed, I know that our
love will never fade, that we will always find strength in one another, and
that we will continue to grow side by side.
I believe in the truth of what we are, and I will love you always, with
every beat of my heart.
I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair.
I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.
I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome.
I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you are hot, even if I am totally freezing
Today we join our two hearts into one being and not in a Time Lord way.
It is at this moment as I gaze into your eyes I think... is it too late to elope?
I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away.
I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving however...
I vow to wash if you'll dry, just so we can be together in the kitchen, laughing, all night - every night.
I promise to love you, honor you, but not obey, because that's a little creepy.
If you promise to kill the spiders, I'll promise to make your lunch, if you take out the trash (and the dog at night), I will make the bed. And if you love me, I will love you.
I promise that as your wife, I will not keep score, even though I am totally winning.
I promise never to come home with a monkey without running it by you first.
If I ever go into space I promise I will never have an affair with a sexy Martian.
I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do we part or you turn into a zombie. Because then we're going to have to start seeing other people.
There’s an old Irish saying that goes, Cramagorrah Rowe Egonhah. Wait a minute. I might have accidentally cursed you. I am so sorry...
I vow not to take any of your less pleasing habits personally, even though I really wish you would put the keys back on the key hook, and not leave your shoes in the middle of the hallway, and I love you.
I vow to protect you from all the ills of the world, even if a scientist invented a way to clone dinosaurs and the dinosaurs escaped from his zoo and then they came after us - I would protect you as well as I could manage from said dinosaurs. That is how much I love you.
I promise to share the covers, leave the light on, make sure the toilet paper is stocked, not use all the hot water, and do as many dishes as I can stomach, as long as we both shall live so help me God.
A pair of penguins mate for life, across hundreds of miles of tundra, the female penguin travels to bring food to the male, as he watches the egg over a month of sub-zero temperatures. As your husband, I promise never to ask you to do anything like that.
Ha Ha - we made everyone get dressed up.
Just one last thing to tell you - I am totally worth it.
