Lord Of The Rings Ceremony

It's difficult these days to have a wedding ceremony that truly reflects your personality, your likes and dislikes, your obsession with Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, Star Trek.  It can come off as geeky, kitchy, or just plain silly.  Do you really want to be married by an officiant dressed as Picard, or Jabba the Hut?  Okay, maybe you do.

I strive, with my ceremonies, to make them personal without going over the top.  But truth be told, if you want to go over the top, I'll happily take that trip with you.  However, I can write and have written ceremonies that can showcase favourite movies or TV shows and they have turned out sweet and not cringe-worthy.  The following is one that a wrote last year for a couple who absolutely LOVED Lord of the Rings.  The names have been changed to preserve their anonymity.

Welcome everyone. Today you are here because you have been invited to join in an adventure. You will be witness as Dick and Jane embark on the adventure of marriage to one another. As Bilbo Baggins said to Frodo, “It’s a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” Love is much the same. It’s dangerous to fall in love with someone. You never know where it might take you. For Dick and Jane, it has taken them from backpacking through Europe, coming home broke, moving into a really awful apartment, to this day.

Both Dick and Jane would like to acknowledge those who could not be here today who meant a great deal to them. They think of them now and can feel their presence. Even though they are not here physically, they are part of the foundation that makes them both the people they are now.

With this marriage, you not only bring your own lives together, but those of your friends, family, and your community. A supportive community is the cornerstone of a loving and lasting relationship.

Love is the energy that binds our universe together, makes us whole, and human. While we may all be young in consciousness, and our lives fleeting, the matter of which we are made is as old as the universe itself. This brief but beautiful organization of matter into individuals and the intertwining of our lives has been celebrated for much of human history, in many different ways and across cultures.

Remember that in every marriage, there are good times and bad, times of joy and times of sorrow. Marriage is a journey – a time of adventure and excitement enhanced by the love, trust, dedication and faith you share in one another.

You are mature enough to know the difference between dreams and realities. You have youth and hope. You also know that good times are sweeter when shared and that difficult times are less harsh when borne by two. Continue to work to build a foundation that will support the lasting relationship that is marriage.

And so today, we are gathered here to witness the formal, public declaration of love and commitment between Dick and Jane.

Dick and Jane, do you come into this marriage of your own free will and with full conscious intent?

ANSWER: We do.

The couple has prepared their own vows.

Dick?

Even now, after a thousand nights, a thousand smiles
I stand here helpless, elated, hopelessly lost in your eyes
But my hands are still and my breath is measured
Because we’re long past doubt, long past ‘maybe’
And today I will make you only one promise
-- That our love will continue to grow
In ways we can scarcely imagine!
When we look upon tomorrow, we will see only the opportunities that lie ahead
That only now have we set foot out the door
With our eyes on the horizon, over the hills and far away
And in our grief we will only become stronger
In our successes -- more humble
With our hearts content and memories full
Because you are my significant otter, my morning coffee, my darling Jane
I love you, now and forever, always and ever

Jane?

Dick. As Arwen said to Aragon - "I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of the world alone" And if we only have one lifetime together- I promise to be your loving wife and fellow adventurer; I promise to create a life time full of memories living life to the fullest together and to explore as much of the world as we can. I promise to place your dreams and goals as equal to mine and to encourage you when you feel like giving up hope. I promise to nurture your wanderlust and be open to change.

I vow to grow with you and not apart,

to make my accomplishments, ours, and your challenges, mine.
I vow to not only be there during the good moments but also during the difficult ones
I will always love you deeply and honestly,
as your equal and your partner.
Unless we are playing board games, then every person for himself.
I vow to cherish you, support you and to never take your actions, words and kindness for granted. I vow to give you all that I have; to love you completely and fully. I will smile with you in happiness, comfort you in sorrow, and conspire with you in mischief.
My love is yours today, tomorrow, and for all the days before us.

It is now time to exchange rings. Wedding rings are a symbol of the journeys taken together, a completion of one story and the start of another. Forged by the fires of compassion, compromise and love, not to be easily destroyed. To borrow (and alter) from Tolkien: Two rings to rule them all, Two rings will find them, Two rings to bring them all and in this marriage, bind them.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

At this time, you exchange gold rings. May these rings represent the strength, resilience and permanence of the love you share as you grow old together. As The One Ring in the story, let yours be symbolic of the binding power of your wedding vows.

The rings please.

Dick, place the ring on Jane’s finger and repeat after me.

With this ring, I thee wed,
With this one ring I give you my love and devotion,
With this ring that binds us together as long as we both shall live.

Jane, place the ring on Dick’s finger and repeat after me.

I give you the one ring as a permanent bonus to our Relationship Attribute. Equip it now in preparation for our upcoming Married Life quest, for now we truly can rule them all.

Today you have joined with Dick and Jane as they have embarked on the adventure of marriage. It is with great joy that by the authority vested in me by the Province of Ontario that I pronounce you married. You may now kiss.

Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers

This may seem like an odd reading for a wedding. In fact I remember being at a real estate seminar and the speaker there made a point of telling us all to get our priorities straight and used this as an example. However, priorities are priorities - whether it be your work life or your home life. Enjoy.

Mayonnaise jar and two Beers by David Sullivan

“When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions–and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else–the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a few beers with a friend.'”

Weather and the Perfect Relationship

So, yesterday was just a little bit hot. Okay, a lot hot. And I performed 2 wedding ceremonies - one inside, which was so joyous and beautiful and fabulous, and one outside in the blazing heat. We were all melted blobs by the time the ceremony was over, but you know what? It was still perfect. It was about the bride and groom who loved each other. It wasn't a perfect day, but it was still wonderful.

Today I thought I'd post something from ‘When Harry Met Sally’ a movie that proves that even imperfect people can make a perfect relationship.

Anam Cara

I draw great comfort and inspiration from the writings of John O'Donohue.  In fact, I named my ministry Anam Cara.  This is why.

From "Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom".

“When love awakens in your life, in the night of your heart, it is like the dawn breaking within you. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before in your life there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with your self. When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, a new beginning.”

I will publish more passages in the coming weeks.

Love Me Some Bruce Springsteen

Bruce Springsteen has something to say.

“If I Should Fall Behind”

We said we’d walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me.

We swore we’d travel darlin’ side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride
But each lover’s steps fall so differently
But I’ll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me.

Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So let’s make our steps clear that the other may see
And I’ll wait for you
If I should fall behind
Wait for me.

Now there’s a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There ‘neath the oak’s bough soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin’ I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind

Wait for me.

A Little Change of Pace

I thought that today, instead of readings, I'd post some actual wedding vows.  These are light-hearted, but meaningful too.
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From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in a way that no human being ever has.  I’ve fallen in love with you again and again, countless times, without reservation, and I still can’t believe that today I get to marry my best friend.

I promise to be true to you, to uplift and support you, to frustrate and challenge you, and to share with you all the beautiful moments of life. Someday, if the stars align, I might even let you win an argument.

No matter what trials we encounter together or how much time has passed, I know that our love will never fade, that we will always find strength in one another, and that we will continue to grow side by side.  I believe in the truth of what we are, and I will love you always, with every beat of my heart.

I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair.

I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.

I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome.

I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you are hot, even if I am totally freezing

Today we join our two hearts into one being and not in a Time Lord way.

It is at this moment as I gaze into your eyes I think... is it too late to elope?

I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away.

I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving however...

I vow to wash if you'll dry, just so we can be together in the kitchen, laughing, all night - every night.

I promise to love you, honor you, but not obey, because that's a little creepy.

If you promise to kill the spiders, I'll promise to make your lunch, if you take out the trash (and the dog at night), I will make the bed. And if you love me, I will love you.

I promise that as your wife, I will not keep score, even though I am totally winning.

I promise never to come home with a monkey without running it by you first.

If I ever go into space I promise I will never have an affair with a sexy Martian.

I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do we part or you turn into a zombie. Because then we're going to have to start seeing other people.

There’s an old Irish saying that goes, Cramagorrah Rowe Egonhah. Wait a minute. I might have accidentally cursed you. I am so sorry...

I vow not to take any of your less pleasing habits personally, even though I really wish you would put the keys back on the key hook, and not leave your shoes in the middle of the hallway, and I love you.

I vow to protect you from all the ills of the world, even if a scientist invented a way to clone dinosaurs and the dinosaurs escaped from his zoo and then they came after us - I would protect you as well as I could manage from said dinosaurs. That is how much I love you.

I promise to share the covers, leave the light on, make sure the toilet paper is stocked, not use all the hot water, and do as many dishes as I can stomach, as long as we both shall live so help me God.

A pair of penguins mate for life, across hundreds of miles of tundra, the female penguin travels to bring food to the male, as he watches the egg over a month of sub-zero temperatures. As your husband, I promise never to ask you to do anything like that.

Ha Ha - we made everyone get dressed up.

Just one last thing to tell you - I am totally worth it.

A little Dr. Seuss to keep you interested

Today's reading is Oh, the Places You’ll go! by Dr. Seuss

“Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the COUPLE who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that life’s a great balancing act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
So… be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting.
So… get on your way!”