Vows Don't Have Be Hard

For a change of pace I thought I might give you all some insight on the vow writing process.  As more and more couples are deciding to write their own, they are realizing just how difficult it can be.  Sure, I know you love each other, but how do you say that in a paragraph or two?  Here are some ideas and examples.

1.  First of all and most importantly, don't wait until the last minute.  I know you think you got this, but trust me, you don't.  Vows are important.  You don't want them to be a last minute rush job.  You want them to be meaningful and even funny, if you choose to go that way.

2.  Say "I love you".  Seems like a no-brainer, but in your zeal to write the perfect words, this little phrase is often overlooked.

3.  Make a list of things you want to say, anecdotes about your life, how you met, things you love about your partner, things that annoy you (yes, it can be funny), and anything else that comes to mind.

4.  Write a draft, then another, then another, then another, until it is exactly what you want.  You'll know when you've nailed it.

5.  Then practise saying it out loud.  See if it rolls off the tongue easily.  Does it trip you up at all?  Then change the wording.  Once you think it's perfect, put it away somewhere safe - either on your phone or give it to your officiant.  Keep it away from your partner.

6.  The day before your big day, go over it one last time.  Do you still like it?  Good!  Job well done!  It will be great the next day at your wedding.

For anyone having trouble coming up with vows, I've compiled a selection that might ignite your creativity.  Today's examples are pulled from some favourite movies.  Enjoy.

From Lord of The Rings

I would rather spend one lifetime with you than spend all of the Ages of this world alone.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

If ever two people were more meant for each other, we'll just have to hunt them down, kill them, and bury them in the desert.

From Doctor Who

You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, Not bad. They're OK. And then you get to know them and…and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful man I've ever met.

From Harry Potter

Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.

Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

We can’t choose our fate, but we can choose others. Be careful in knowing that.

You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!

We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also

What's comin' will come, and we'll meet it when it does.

From Star Wars

You are the Obi Wan for me.

Anakin

My Queen, may the Force be with us as we travel through the galaxy of life. I pledge to never turn to the Dark Side but stand forever in the illumination of our love. I vow to fight the Evil Emperor and I invite you take your place at my side as we rule the galaxy. Take my hand and stand with me for light and justice throughout our lives.

Padme

My Jedi, my love, I take your hand and accept your pledge. May the force be strong with us all the days of our lives. There is good in you, I sense it. Remain a Jedi and I will stand by you. I pledge to you my love and my companionship as long as I live.

 Han

Princess, I love you more than I love the Millennium Falcon. I'll give up a lifetime riding the galaxies in search of treasure with Chewie just to be with you. Together we can withstand anything, even the Death Star, Jabba the Hut and Darth Vader. Come with me and we will make this world and the others around it ours. I'll take part in any rebellion you want and pledge my life and love to you, Princess.

Leia

Han, no matter what world we crash land on, I know that you will take good care of us. No matter what happened in the past, I know you are brave, intelligent and I love you. Together we can stand against injustice wherever we find it and bring freedom to our world.

 Unknown

 I close my eyes I see my home, I see peace, I see tranquility, I see you.  I vow to be your peace, your tranquility, your home.

Of course I promise to love you, but I promise to buy the lottery tickets, order the takeout, shovel the snow, plant the tulips, open the wine, pop the corn and kiss you every night.  That’s what love is!

 

Lord Of The Rings Ceremony

It's difficult these days to have a wedding ceremony that truly reflects your personality, your likes and dislikes, your obsession with Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, Star Trek.  It can come off as geeky, kitchy, or just plain silly.  Do you really want to be married by an officiant dressed as Picard, or Jabba the Hut?  Okay, maybe you do.

I strive, with my ceremonies, to make them personal without going over the top.  But truth be told, if you want to go over the top, I'll happily take that trip with you.  However, I can write and have written ceremonies that can showcase favourite movies or TV shows and they have turned out sweet and not cringe-worthy.  The following is one that a wrote last year for a couple who absolutely LOVED Lord of the Rings.  The names have been changed to preserve their anonymity.

Welcome everyone. Today you are here because you have been invited to join in an adventure. You will be witness as Dick and Jane embark on the adventure of marriage to one another. As Bilbo Baggins said to Frodo, “It’s a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” Love is much the same. It’s dangerous to fall in love with someone. You never know where it might take you. For Dick and Jane, it has taken them from backpacking through Europe, coming home broke, moving into a really awful apartment, to this day.

Both Dick and Jane would like to acknowledge those who could not be here today who meant a great deal to them. They think of them now and can feel their presence. Even though they are not here physically, they are part of the foundation that makes them both the people they are now.

With this marriage, you not only bring your own lives together, but those of your friends, family, and your community. A supportive community is the cornerstone of a loving and lasting relationship.

Love is the energy that binds our universe together, makes us whole, and human. While we may all be young in consciousness, and our lives fleeting, the matter of which we are made is as old as the universe itself. This brief but beautiful organization of matter into individuals and the intertwining of our lives has been celebrated for much of human history, in many different ways and across cultures.

Remember that in every marriage, there are good times and bad, times of joy and times of sorrow. Marriage is a journey – a time of adventure and excitement enhanced by the love, trust, dedication and faith you share in one another.

You are mature enough to know the difference between dreams and realities. You have youth and hope. You also know that good times are sweeter when shared and that difficult times are less harsh when borne by two. Continue to work to build a foundation that will support the lasting relationship that is marriage.

And so today, we are gathered here to witness the formal, public declaration of love and commitment between Dick and Jane.

Dick and Jane, do you come into this marriage of your own free will and with full conscious intent?

ANSWER: We do.

The couple has prepared their own vows.

Dick?

Even now, after a thousand nights, a thousand smiles
I stand here helpless, elated, hopelessly lost in your eyes
But my hands are still and my breath is measured
Because we’re long past doubt, long past ‘maybe’
And today I will make you only one promise
-- That our love will continue to grow
In ways we can scarcely imagine!
When we look upon tomorrow, we will see only the opportunities that lie ahead
That only now have we set foot out the door
With our eyes on the horizon, over the hills and far away
And in our grief we will only become stronger
In our successes -- more humble
With our hearts content and memories full
Because you are my significant otter, my morning coffee, my darling Jane
I love you, now and forever, always and ever

Jane?

Dick. As Arwen said to Aragon - "I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of the world alone" And if we only have one lifetime together- I promise to be your loving wife and fellow adventurer; I promise to create a life time full of memories living life to the fullest together and to explore as much of the world as we can. I promise to place your dreams and goals as equal to mine and to encourage you when you feel like giving up hope. I promise to nurture your wanderlust and be open to change.

I vow to grow with you and not apart,

to make my accomplishments, ours, and your challenges, mine.
I vow to not only be there during the good moments but also during the difficult ones
I will always love you deeply and honestly,
as your equal and your partner.
Unless we are playing board games, then every person for himself.
I vow to cherish you, support you and to never take your actions, words and kindness for granted. I vow to give you all that I have; to love you completely and fully. I will smile with you in happiness, comfort you in sorrow, and conspire with you in mischief.
My love is yours today, tomorrow, and for all the days before us.

It is now time to exchange rings. Wedding rings are a symbol of the journeys taken together, a completion of one story and the start of another. Forged by the fires of compassion, compromise and love, not to be easily destroyed. To borrow (and alter) from Tolkien: Two rings to rule them all, Two rings will find them, Two rings to bring them all and in this marriage, bind them.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

At this time, you exchange gold rings. May these rings represent the strength, resilience and permanence of the love you share as you grow old together. As The One Ring in the story, let yours be symbolic of the binding power of your wedding vows.

The rings please.

Dick, place the ring on Jane’s finger and repeat after me.

With this ring, I thee wed,
With this one ring I give you my love and devotion,
With this ring that binds us together as long as we both shall live.

Jane, place the ring on Dick’s finger and repeat after me.

I give you the one ring as a permanent bonus to our Relationship Attribute. Equip it now in preparation for our upcoming Married Life quest, for now we truly can rule them all.

Today you have joined with Dick and Jane as they have embarked on the adventure of marriage. It is with great joy that by the authority vested in me by the Province of Ontario that I pronounce you married. You may now kiss.