Vows Don't Have Be Hard

For a change of pace I thought I might give you all some insight on the vow writing process.  As more and more couples are deciding to write their own, they are realizing just how difficult it can be.  Sure, I know you love each other, but how do you say that in a paragraph or two?  Here are some ideas and examples.

1.  First of all and most importantly, don't wait until the last minute.  I know you think you got this, but trust me, you don't.  Vows are important.  You don't want them to be a last minute rush job.  You want them to be meaningful and even funny, if you choose to go that way.

2.  Say "I love you".  Seems like a no-brainer, but in your zeal to write the perfect words, this little phrase is often overlooked.

3.  Make a list of things you want to say, anecdotes about your life, how you met, things you love about your partner, things that annoy you (yes, it can be funny), and anything else that comes to mind.

4.  Write a draft, then another, then another, then another, until it is exactly what you want.  You'll know when you've nailed it.

5.  Then practise saying it out loud.  See if it rolls off the tongue easily.  Does it trip you up at all?  Then change the wording.  Once you think it's perfect, put it away somewhere safe - either on your phone or give it to your officiant.  Keep it away from your partner.

6.  The day before your big day, go over it one last time.  Do you still like it?  Good!  Job well done!  It will be great the next day at your wedding.

For anyone having trouble coming up with vows, I've compiled a selection that might ignite your creativity.  Today's examples are pulled from some favourite movies.  Enjoy.

From Lord of The Rings

I would rather spend one lifetime with you than spend all of the Ages of this world alone.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

If ever two people were more meant for each other, we'll just have to hunt them down, kill them, and bury them in the desert.

From Doctor Who

You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, Not bad. They're OK. And then you get to know them and…and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful man I've ever met.

From Harry Potter

Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.

Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

We can’t choose our fate, but we can choose others. Be careful in knowing that.

You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!

We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also

What's comin' will come, and we'll meet it when it does.

From Star Wars

You are the Obi Wan for me.

Anakin

My Queen, may the Force be with us as we travel through the galaxy of life. I pledge to never turn to the Dark Side but stand forever in the illumination of our love. I vow to fight the Evil Emperor and I invite you take your place at my side as we rule the galaxy. Take my hand and stand with me for light and justice throughout our lives.

Padme

My Jedi, my love, I take your hand and accept your pledge. May the force be strong with us all the days of our lives. There is good in you, I sense it. Remain a Jedi and I will stand by you. I pledge to you my love and my companionship as long as I live.

 Han

Princess, I love you more than I love the Millennium Falcon. I'll give up a lifetime riding the galaxies in search of treasure with Chewie just to be with you. Together we can withstand anything, even the Death Star, Jabba the Hut and Darth Vader. Come with me and we will make this world and the others around it ours. I'll take part in any rebellion you want and pledge my life and love to you, Princess.

Leia

Han, no matter what world we crash land on, I know that you will take good care of us. No matter what happened in the past, I know you are brave, intelligent and I love you. Together we can stand against injustice wherever we find it and bring freedom to our world.

 Unknown

 I close my eyes I see my home, I see peace, I see tranquility, I see you.  I vow to be your peace, your tranquility, your home.

Of course I promise to love you, but I promise to buy the lottery tickets, order the takeout, shovel the snow, plant the tulips, open the wine, pop the corn and kiss you every night.  That’s what love is!

 

A Little Change of Pace

I thought that today, instead of readings, I'd post some actual wedding vows.  These are light-hearted, but meaningful too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in a way that no human being ever has.  I’ve fallen in love with you again and again, countless times, without reservation, and I still can’t believe that today I get to marry my best friend.

I promise to be true to you, to uplift and support you, to frustrate and challenge you, and to share with you all the beautiful moments of life. Someday, if the stars align, I might even let you win an argument.

No matter what trials we encounter together or how much time has passed, I know that our love will never fade, that we will always find strength in one another, and that we will continue to grow side by side.  I believe in the truth of what we are, and I will love you always, with every beat of my heart.

I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair.

I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.

I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome.

I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you are hot, even if I am totally freezing

Today we join our two hearts into one being and not in a Time Lord way.

It is at this moment as I gaze into your eyes I think... is it too late to elope?

I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away.

I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving however...

I vow to wash if you'll dry, just so we can be together in the kitchen, laughing, all night - every night.

I promise to love you, honor you, but not obey, because that's a little creepy.

If you promise to kill the spiders, I'll promise to make your lunch, if you take out the trash (and the dog at night), I will make the bed. And if you love me, I will love you.

I promise that as your wife, I will not keep score, even though I am totally winning.

I promise never to come home with a monkey without running it by you first.

If I ever go into space I promise I will never have an affair with a sexy Martian.

I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do we part or you turn into a zombie. Because then we're going to have to start seeing other people.

There’s an old Irish saying that goes, Cramagorrah Rowe Egonhah. Wait a minute. I might have accidentally cursed you. I am so sorry...

I vow not to take any of your less pleasing habits personally, even though I really wish you would put the keys back on the key hook, and not leave your shoes in the middle of the hallway, and I love you.

I vow to protect you from all the ills of the world, even if a scientist invented a way to clone dinosaurs and the dinosaurs escaped from his zoo and then they came after us - I would protect you as well as I could manage from said dinosaurs. That is how much I love you.

I promise to share the covers, leave the light on, make sure the toilet paper is stocked, not use all the hot water, and do as many dishes as I can stomach, as long as we both shall live so help me God.

A pair of penguins mate for life, across hundreds of miles of tundra, the female penguin travels to bring food to the male, as he watches the egg over a month of sub-zero temperatures. As your husband, I promise never to ask you to do anything like that.

Ha Ha - we made everyone get dressed up.

Just one last thing to tell you - I am totally worth it.

Robert Fulghum has something to say again

Today's wedding reading is "Union" by Robert Fulghum.

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks – all those sentences that began with ”When we’re married”” and continued with “I will and you will and we will” – those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.

All these common things are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another: “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed – I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover and even teacher. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, for after these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband, this is my wife."